Placement au pair
Et quand la Granny est là...?
Si vous participez à Granny Aupair en tant que famille, vous prenez chez vous une femme que vous connaissez à peine. Mais les choses vont vite changer. Granny Aupair est pour tous les acteurs une petite aventure. La rencontre recèle de nombreuses et magnifiques chances d’apprendre l’un de l’autre.
Pour vous préparer au séjour de « votre » Granny, nous vous donnons quelques suggestions à ce sujet.
Clarifiez au préalable où la Granny doit être logée. A-t-elle une salle de bain à elle ou la partagez-vous? Une pension proche est-elle peut-être une meilleure solution?
Si vous vivez dans une culture très étrangère pour la Granny au pair, permettez-lui de se familiariser avec. Le nouveau cadre est peut-être très inhabituel pour elle, il lui faut donc quelque temps pour se faire à des impressions très nouvelles.
Vacances et loisirs
Clarifiez au préalable quand la Granny dispose de temps entièrement à elle. Est-elle invitée à participer aux activités familiales ou désirez-vous avoir vous aussi du temps à vous? Permettez aussi à la Granny de découvrir son pays d’accueil.
Argent de poche et frais de voyage
Réglez clairement toutes les questions financières. Le gîte et le couvert sont gratuits pour la Granny en échange de la garde des enfants. La question de l’argent de poche et/ou d’une participation aux frais de voyage de la Granny est à débattre entre vous et elle.
Une Granny au pair n’est pas censée être votre femme de ménage. Néanmoins, de nombreuses Grannies n’ont rien contre le fait de participer aux travaux ménagers. Parlez-en avec elle, afin que les choses soient claires.
Tips for families
Wealth of experience and challenge
We have no "successful recipe" for host families, but many valuable tips!
Granny Aupair is a small adventure for everyone involved: every encounter holds many wonderful opportunities to learn from each other and to have lots of fun together!
The most important requirements as a host family are
- Pleasure and interest in other cultures
- to welcome the Granny and involve her in your family life
- an own room for the Granny
Starting out is always difficult
Usually not everything runs like clockwork in the settling-in-period. There can be several reasons for this:
- Many families want the Granny to settle in as smoothly as possible and do not immediately talk about their wishes as well as tasks and responsibilities. But this will be more difficult later on.
- In the beginning, living together is probably just as unfamiliar to you as it is for the Granny - give each other time and be patient when things need to become attuned.
- The Granny may not have overcome the culture shock yet, and is struggling with physical accompanying factors, moodiness, an increased need for sleep or exhaustion.
- This first period can be a little strenuous for you as a family as well as for the Granny. But with a bit of good will on both sides this can be overcome quite quickly!
Possible language difficulties
Hardly anything cuts us off from the environment as much as linguistic hurdles. Please consider the following points:
- Not all grannies speak the language of the host country at a high level. At least most grannies have not had daily practice in the language – in spite of all their preparation.
- You can support the Granny in learning or improving the new language by speaking slowly, by using simple words and (if your time allows) writing small notes on furniture and objects in the apartment or writing down useful phrases or important concerns as well as arrangements for better understanding and practice for the Granny.
- In our experience, many grannies wish to improve their language skills during their stay abroad. Talk to the Granny about how you can help her, e.g. by taking a language course or meeting local people.
Challenge in living together with a Granny as a family
When complete strangers start living together, communication smooths the way:
- Even if Grannies are mature women, in order to achieve a smooth cooperation you have to clearly communicate your expectations towards the Granny at the very beginning. Don't rely on the Granny to "recognize" your expectations based on her life experience. She won't - she is orienting herself in a foreign country and will be grateful for clear words.
- The Granny usually comes from a different culture with completely different family rules and habits and therefore has no chance to decipher and understand your "unwritten family rules" correctly - so do not hesitate to talk openly about them.
- Often the problems in living together daily arise through the accumulation of many small things - the grannies feels the displeasure of the host family, but has not understood the actual problem or has interpreted something wrongly, since the complaints were not expressly named by the family.
- Loving, open and clear words from your side offer valuable guidance to the Granny and make it easier for her to fulfil your wishes.
- And there is another important aspect to consider: not only different cultures are coming together with the Granny, the host parents and the children, but it is also a meeting of different generations. That's why a lot of communication and exchange is needed to get to know and understand each other's life worlds - after all, everyone only looks through their very own "generational glasses".
Conflicts are part of intercultural encounters!
When people from very different cultures spend time together, differences inevitably emerge sooner or later. This is totally normal and right.
- Stay calm in view of problems and tackle difficult situations instead of seeing them as an insurmountable obstacle or possibly even as an insult or attack against your own family.
- Concern and disappointment are often involved when difficulties arise, or there are misunderstandings.
- Conflict situations are almost always part of intercultural understanding, so take it for granted when they occur.
- The positive accompanying effect of conflicts is that they can improve living together - provided that all parties are prepared to talk openly and honestly about the conflict and to find a solution together.
Culture shock is independent of age and origin and can affect any traveller
Grannies have a lot of life experience. But that doesn't mean that they are immune to culture shock – strange surroundings can have a disturbing effect on anyone and do not inspire a lot of confidence.
- Culture shock is not a personal inability, but a normal reaction to unknown and strange environments.
- Overcoming it requires a certain amount of time and above all a lot of patience.
- Symptoms of a culture shock can be homesickness, increased need for sleep, distrust, low tolerance of strangers, lack of self-confidence, loneliness (including isolation), loss of control, depression, sudden intolerances or allergies.
- Culture shock is often the reason why young au pairs as well as experienced grannies abruptly end their stays abroad.
Homesickness and contact to the family at home
Naturally the Granny has come to support your family and to experience something new. But it is normal for her heart and mind to dwell with her loved ones at home and this can lead to homesickness.
- Like culture shock, homesickness is not a question of age. Grannies also repeatedly express the concern that they might get homesick.
- The wish that the Granny's loved ones can come to visit her during her stay with you may be issued. Think carefully about whether you would like this and, if so, how you would like the visit to take place and when would be the best time (we recommend the time after the Granny visit. But please keep the visa regulations in mind). Discuss this with your family and the Granny in good time.
On the whole, spending time with the Granny doesn't present a family with insurmountable challenges. Communication is the key - talk about everything that matters, but also about things that may seem unimportant to you. Talk about everyday things, ask questions. If there is time, you can let the Granny tell something about herself and her daily life or about her family: If she can talk about the people she misses, she will associate them with you and your life on the spot. This can also help alleviate any homesickness. At the same time you will learn more about your children's Granny - what is important to her, what amuses her and what moves her emotionally. In short: You get to know and appreciate her as a person very closely.